Tag Archives: life

Cancer. The unplanned journey

10 Saturday Nov 2012

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Cancer.

It touches all our lives. Be it friends, family, loved ones, or even ourselves. It touches us all. How we deal with that first realisation that Cancer is in our lives goes a long way to determining our journey with it.

But this is a photography blog, why am I writing about Cancer?

I run a Bump to Baby and a My First Year programme for parents with young children, this provides them with several shoots over a given timeframe.

Sue (not her real name) contacted me 18 months ago and said she would like BOTH the Bump to Baby & My First Year photo shoots. The Bump to Baby shoot consists of a maternity shoot at approx. 40 weeks, and a newborn shoot, at approx. 10 days. The My First Year comprises three shoots, newborn, 6 months and 1 year old.

During the course of the last 18 months I have met Sue & her family on a number of occasions, they had a son together, Julian (not his real name) who I have photographed in a Vintage suitcase at ten days old and under a yellow towel at six months old. Every time I have met or spoken with Sue & her family it has always been a rewarding experience. 

It was Julians first birthday yesterday.

About six weeks ago Sue contacted me for an appointment for Julians final 1 year shoot, we had the usual chit chat and exchanged pleasantries and then Sue said, “I may have to cancel at short notice though as I have Cancer”

An uneasy silence followed as I was at a loss for words, so many thoughts flying around in my head. I wanted to say something but knew that no words I could say would be of any comfort. Thankfully, Sue broke the silence and said some silly comment which I forget now, but it made me chuckle and we said our goodbyes.

As soon as I put the phone down the worry started to set in.

About her family. About Julian her son. About the photo shoot. About EVERYTHING.

Yesterday came.

It was raining. 

We were meeting at a local National Trust site to get some pictures of Julian outside in natural surroundings. I arrived a little early to gather my thoughts. Then I saw them, Sue’s father was driving and I could see that Sue was wearing a wooly hat. Was that because of the cold, or because she was losing her hair? All those images of a Cancer sufferer I had in my head were coming to the fore and I was hating myself for it. 

Sue got out of the car and she could obviously see my facial expression as she said, “Blimey Colin, I have Cancer, it’s not contagious you know!!” And that was that. All the worry and fear that had been building up the last six weeks was gone in an instant. And I knew, what ever the weather, we would get some good pictures today.

Throughout the whole shoot Sue was chirpy positive and he usual funny self. Walking back to the cars afterwards I asked her why she was so positive? Her answer bought tears to my eyes.

“If I’m going to die, I’m going to die, there is no point bringing everyone else in my life down by being sad and unhappy. I have always been a happy person, I’m going to continue being a happy person. I don’t want to die, but If I do, at least I’m going out knowing that my family and friends can remember me as someone who was smiling and happy right to the end. Life is full of challenges. This is one of those”

Looking back on yesterdays shoot and my chat with Sue afterwards I have a good feeling that everything will be ok.

If nothing else it has altered my outlook on life somewhat.

keep smiling, be happy

Best – Colin

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Life can change, in an instant

29 Monday Oct 2012

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Afternoon

If someone had said to me 12 months ago that I would be out shooting a Vampire in a disused building, in the cold wind and rain, for free – I would have laughed at them. And why not, there I was sat in my nice warm comfortable studio, plenty of coffee, nice sofas and a steady stream of customers walking through the door wanting beautiful studio portraits – it was all too easy.

How could I have foreseen the circumstances that would mean I had to give up my studio. How could I have predicted the fact that people had no money to spend on “beautiful studio portraits” any longer.

Life can change, in an instant.

But that was twelve months ago. 

So there I was, doing my “Social Media” rounds, I do these once or twice a day as time permits, and I saw a Facebook post from a model asking for a Halloween shoot on Sunday as the shoot she had planned fell through. This was Friday. 

Well, I knew I was busy Saturday, but had Sunday free, so I thought, how difficult can a Halloween shoot be, and quickly offered my services.

Then it started to sink in. It was Friday, the shoot was on Sunday, I was out with the family on Saturday. I had no specifics to go with the theme, no location, no idea what I wanted the model to wear – and I also had the equivalent of “writers block”, my mind went totally blank.

On Friday night I was frantically searching Google for ideas along the Halloween theme and decided upon a “Vampire” themed shoot. After speaking with the model, we decided on going with the “Sophisticated Sexy” Vampire look that is shown in many TV shows rather than the more traditional blood & gore look.

But as always, things don’t go quite as planned.

The light in the room was wrong, the light outside was wrong, the cape we bought for some sophistication was wrong, in fact, twenty minutes into the shoot we very nearly gave up and went home, wet cold tired and thoroughly fed up.

Sometimes being a photographer you have to just “step back” and have a look around, it’s ok to change the theme, it’s ok to change your ideas, if something is not working, why persevere.

So we changed it around, we went for the more “traditional Vampire” with a bit of blood & gore, we moved location, I rummaged in my bag and found a small tube of fake blood and it all started to come together.

We started out with a wailing Vampire.

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Moved onto a “coming out of a crypt” look, with the model crawling through a hole in the wall which was pretty tricky but we managed it quite well.

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And we finished up by utilising a kitchen knife that we had bought along “just in case”. This shot has a very “dark” feel to it and is not to everyones’s taste. But I liked it, quite gritty.

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Fangs were added in Photoshop – nice & easy with the warp tool.

So all in all, aside from the cold and the wet apart from a few hiccups it went ok.

Best – Colin

 

 

 

Aside

Why it’s always a good idea to keep your promises

21 Sunday Oct 2012

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Afternoon

There is a place not far from me that I stumbled upon recently – great for a shoot, but on private property. I used my friend Google to find out who owned the property and, as per a previous blog post, I just went and asked.

The owner was an older gentleman and didn’t seem too surprised when I asked if I could shoot – it seems lots of photographers had “stumbled upon” this place and come knocking at his door before. After being given permission to shoot I offered to provide a few mounted prints by way of thank you – this usually elicits an exclamation of approval with large smiles – but this chap just shrugged and said “ok”.

Well, on Friday last week I received the finished mounted prints back from my lab for this particular gentleman, so I jumped in the car and went over to his place to deliver them, a couple of 10×8’s in 2″ mounts should do the trick I thought.

He was pretty gruff to say the least, wanted to know why I had come back again pestering him, I calmed him down and said, no, look, these are for you – handing him the mounted prints I watched his expression change from annoyance to bemusement – what, are these for me? He said, a little unsure if they really were. Of course, I did promise you a couple of prints, I replied.

The look on this old man’s face said it all, and I suddenly realised, this was the first time anyone had actually given him any prints ! He ushered me into his kitchen and made me a lovely cup of tea and then proceeded to tell me about “all the other photographers” that came to his place shooting.

Not a single photographer in the past had kept good with their word on the promise of a few prints, not one. I spent about an hour with this old man, passing the time of day and talking about life in general, and when I left, his parting words were, anytime you want to come back and shoot, you just come back!

And so for the sake of a few £’s spent on some 10×8’s and a bit of petrol used I have restored an old man’s faith in human nature.

Best – Colin